Well… Yes… and no.

Let me tell you right now that the subject in itself falls under, what I find to be three of the most complicated things in this world. Starting a dream business, talking to your lover and family issues. But what makes these three things similar to each other, is that the complication can be resolved if you follow proper planning, look at situations in angles different from your own and to approach them in a civil, appropriate and open minded manner.

I am no professional. I am however, the youngest member of a family of four, and have had so many instances, disputes and discussions within the household that I feel, could have been resolved in a better way.

I don’t blame anyone, because that will not solve the problem.

Frustrated, angry, depressed. These are all emotions that you are possibly feeling right now and maybe that’s why you are reading this.

Or maybe you are reading this out of self interest? A way to understand the topic at a different light.

Whatever the reason, what is important is that you look at things in different perspectives.

I will be very honest with you. I don’t exactly know what situation you are in and I possibly might not be able to fully understand it. The reason for me saying this is because, if I were to say that “I get it” or “I understand what you’re going through”, then you would have already clicked off this page and typed youtube.com in the URL.

I cannot give you all the answers, but what I CAN give you is an idea and some guidelines.

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You must experience zen like a capybara

Me

Do NOT Be Afraid to Ask

You need to take that leap. The height of it is scary, but anything done for the first time will always be scary. You just need to know what you’re doing before you actually do it (obviously lol).

Plan ahead on the topics that you want to discuss with your parents, but don’t come off as if you are in a business meeting, because if that is what you are about to do, the conversation will not last long and your parents will feel like you are putting them on the spot, which is not a good thing.

Be it either about yourself that you want to talk to them them about or something about them that you want to understand, be yourself and talk them naturally (but respectfully).

If you can retain that casual tone, then even better.

There will be times; wherein, sidecomments will most definitely be thrown. There are two things you need to understand when this happens: Don’t let it distract you and don’t let it affect you negatively.

Stay true to the subject and show them that you genuinely want to understand.

And it’s ok for them to make sidecomments, because its a part of their and other people’s personality. Its just parents doing parent-things. Sometimes it can be very entertaining!

Know Your Boundaries

READ the atmosphere!

What I mean by this is, you need to know when to approach your parents about something and how to do it properly.

Ever wondered why there are times where you either just can’t seem to get a message across or them being unable to give a satisfactory reply?

That is because atmosphere dictates tone and intent.

Let’s say for example, your parents just had a serious discussion or heated argument. 10 minutes later, you criticize one of them about the way they do things in the household, right in front of them.

If they take that the wrong way? There will be gnashing of teeth and it will not look very pretty.

All that energy will have to go somewhere right?

Your parents are only human. They can feel pain, anguish and emotions the same way you do. From what I’ve noticed, what a lot of parents can’t seem to understand is that, no matter how focused that child is on that phone or computer screen, they can hear everything. They may not understand everything, but can still hear it nevertheless.

The way children take in information is very different from the adult. And even if you are grown up, you have to be observant and listen (even if it might hurt sometimes).

Don’t commit the same mistakes as your parents.

It is ok to feel frustrated, but you have to be more considerate to your parents. And even if they don’t acknowledge it, show that you can become a better person.

Honesty with Reason

Parents cannot read minds.

As you grow older overtime, it becomes easier to read expression and recognize the beats of a conversation. But no matter how deeply and intensely you look into someone’s eyes, that alone is not enough to tell the full story.

Society has solved many problems through the power of freedom of speech. A fact is set in stone, but an opinion can change the outlook of individuals and create movements.

Don’t be afraid to give an opinion on some of the decisions that your parents make.

Behind all that stern adult bravado was once a highschooler, eager with a lot to learn about life.

No matter how grey the hair or how wrinkly the cheeks, there are things in life that parents don’t know. There are times where certain choices become concerning.

While it is important to have that trust in what they do, it is also important to have that second opinion.

But be civil about it. Because not everyone likes to be told an idiot and berated.

Cooperate

You need to work together.

I don’t know if this is true, but I feel that I’m an introvert (random self check). But regardless if that is the case, I still feel that developing a bond is an important aspect of growing up.

There are certain secrets that can be revealed overtime, but certain secrets if kept under hushed whispers for too long, can develop into a venomous poison that can taint the way each family member sees each other.

Twisted conclusions and toxicity can severely damage the mental state of anyone involved.

Both the parents and their children need to work things out together to prevent such a terrible fate. Because if not, it will be a never ending cycle of misunderstandings and broken families for generations to come.

Unless YOU can prevent and change that.

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You made it

Its a lot to take in I know. But these are what got me through to my parents.

I was able to build a stronger bond with my mother and I finally know the truth of my family.

Its possible that you’ve already tried some of the afformentioned things but to no avail. There is one more thing that I did not mention, but only because I believe that this should be a last resort.

There was once a time in my life, where I felt that there was no escape.

The world looked grey, my body felt numb and my mind blank. I got tired of everything, of who I was and where I was in life.

As a means of escape, I tried contacting some friends and family. Even with relatives I don’t usually talk to or have not talked to in a long time.

You may not believe this, but the number one thing that they all tell me, is to never do things alone. This contradicts me entirely, but its the truth.

I’m one for independence and I most definitely don’t like relying too much on others, but when it comes to the mental health of yourself and your family? You NEED that helping hand.

There are certain things you cannot do alone.

There is nothing to be ashamed of. The time will come where you will realize this, and when that time does come? My only hope is that what you’ve read thus far, will help you in some way in the future.

The biggest problems start at home…

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